


Your Comments Made Me Do It

by canthelpmyselves



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Characters Reading Fanfiction, Crack Treated Seriously, M/M, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23415379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canthelpmyselves/pseuds/canthelpmyselves
Summary: Len and Barry had no idea there was fanfiction about them. Lisa, Iris and the others do, and they aren't happy real life isn't imitating art.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Leonard Snart
Comments: 25
Kudos: 262





	Your Comments Made Me Do It

**Author's Note:**

> I totally blame Lady_Lightning for this one.

The sudden illumination from having the hood pulled off his head made Len blink rapidly. Spots danced before his eyes for a few seconds before clearing up and revealing the interior of the Star Labs cortex. He shifted his hips and shoulders but he was securely tied to a chair in the center of the room. He was surprised (and a fair bit worried) to see the Flash sitting right in front of him in a similar position, looking annoyed. 

“Good, you’re awake,” Lisa said cheerfully as she appeared beside him.

“Lisa,” he growled warningly. “What the hell is going on?”

Lisa rolled her eyes and moved to lean against the computer console. “What’s going on is, your fans are sick and tired of you two not delivering on the fluff.”

Len blinked a couple of times, confused. “The what?”

“Don’t ask,” Barry grumbled.

Len raised an eyebrow at the sullen speedster before looking at the other occupants of the room. Snow, Ramon and the intrepid reporter, Miss West were standing near Lisa, staring at him and Barry with exasperation.

“Fluff,” Mick said from behind Len. “You know what fluff is. The cutesy, romcom stuff.” He strolled into view, beer in one hand and the heatgun in the other. “People are tired of the pining and the angst. They want happy endings and smut.”

Len turned to Barry who was studious staring at the floor. “Are they drunk?”

Barry huffed, his skin flushing a delicate pink. “Djiehgrjefcik,” he mumbled too low for Len to understand.

“Say again?” he growled, steadily growing more and more angry at the lack of explanation (and freedom).

Barry groaned and closed his eyes tightly. “Apparently,” he bit out, “we have… _fans_.”

“Shippers,” Cisco corrected unhelpfully.

Barry opened his eyes and glared at his friend. “Fine,” he bit out. “Shippers.”

“And that means what?” Len demanded.

“Do you know what fandoms are?” Iris asked with a wide smile.

“Like Trekkies?” Len asked warily.

“Exactly,” she beamed. “Only in your case, it’s the people who ship you and Barry together. They even have a name for you, FlashCold.”

Len was now absolutely certain he had somehow tripped into an alternate world. He looked at each one of them before turning back to Barry. “That’s terrible. If anything it should be ColdFlash since I’m obviously the dominant one.”

“Of course that would be your issue with this,” Barry grumbled mulishly.

Len sent him a smirk, ignoring the discomfort in his shoulders. “And what is yours?”

Barry looked at him with disbelief. “Uh, maybe the fact that our friends kidnapped us? Maybe that they are just a bit too involved with a fandom that puts us together in some very…” Barry blushed harder and he looked away again, “um… delicate situations.”

“Some stories have you fucking like nympho bunnies on crack,” Lisa cackled.

“However, lately,” Snow began in a gentle voice, “there’s been more angst than romance. We need you to fix this.”

Barry exhaled heavily and Len would bet that if his hands were free, he’d be pinching the bridge of his nose. “We can’t control what fanfiction writers do,” he pointed out, his tone suggesting that he had made this point a least a couple of times already.

“That’s because all the public ever sees is you two fighting,” Ramon countered. “Maybe if they see you as something other than adversaries, they would write happier stories.”

“That’s because we’re enemies!” Barry practically shouted at the group. 

“I prefer the term adversarial life partners,” Len sniffed imperiously. Barry’s jaw dropped and he gawked at Len in shock. Len rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. “What? I’m your nemesis, Scarlet. We’ve also teamed up on multiple occasions. We’re not exactly strangers.”

“Exactly!” Lisa crowed. “Look, you fight but you also flirt and you’re both handsome and smart. Of course people want to see you together. You practically owe it to the public to at least date.”

“Or have sex,” Iris suggested with an innocent expression.

“Lots of sex,” Snow nodded.

“Just, you know, not in front of us,” Ramon cautioned. 

"Speak for yourself," Snow mumbled under her breath.

Iris grabbed some papers off the console and held them in front of Barry’s face. “Look at these comments,” she said. “Lady_Lightning needs some happy FlashCold stories. RBDechane says they were torn apart by a story. L_Brooke was heartbroken over a sad story. So many readers and writers really want you two to be together. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

“It tells me you spend way too much time online,” Barry argued.

Iris threw her arms in the air and walked back to the others. Len sighed and shook himself free of the ropes and stood up. Lisa and Mick looked annoyed while Snow, Ramon and West looked alarmed. Len stepped around Barry and headed toward the exit. 

“This has been… wait, no, it hasn’t been fun,” he snarked. “Later, losers.”

“Could someone untie me?” he heard Barry grumbled to someone as he left the lab.

***

Len rinsed the shaving cream from his face under the shower spray as the door opened and another body slipped into the space. Strong arms wrapped around him from behind and he relaxed back into the embrace.

“You could have at least untied me before you left,” Barry pouted into his shoulder blade.

Len snorted and wiggled his hips suggestively. “And encourage their behaviour?”

Barry gave a weak chuckle before turning Len to face him. Len’s arms wrapped around Barry’s neck and pulled him in for a soft kiss. “I can’t believe our teams kidnapped us to play matchmaker.”

“I can’t believe neither of us knew there was fanfiction for us,” Len teased.

“When would we have time to search fanfiction sites for us?” Barry asked. “Between work, patrol and us I barely have time to sleep.”

“You know, we could just tell them we’re together,” he hesitantly suggested.

Barry snorted and reached for the body wash. He lathered up his hands and began rubbing Len’s back. “Do you want to be the one to explain to our sisters that we began secretly seeing each other right after Ferris Air? Or that we secretly got engaged when you were acquitted for killing Lewis?”

Len groaned and pressed his forehead to Barry’s neck. “No,” he admitted. “Nor do I want to be anywhere near them when they find out Constantine married us on the Waverider.”

“Well, technically we got married in 2046,” Barry pointed out, “so we still have 26 years before they see the announcement.”

“Semantics, Scarlet,” Len laughed.

Barry slid his hands down to cup Len’s ass and he ground their cocks together. “We haven't seen each other in almost a month. We’re both naked. Why are we still talking?”

Len pressed a heated kiss to Barry’s lips and reached back to shut off the water. “Bedroom,” he ordered.

Both men quickly dried off and stepped out of the bathroom.

“YOU’RE MARRIED?!!!”

Len immediately dropped his hands to his crotch as Barry instantly disappeared in a flash of lightning. Never one to lack courage, Len pasted a smirk on his face as he stared at Lisa. “Sis, I thought you were staying with Ramon.”

Lisa pulled her phone out and began tapping. “You have fifteen seconds before my text tells Iris and Cisco about this. I suggest you get dressed before they arrive,” she snapped.

Len grimaced and walked backwards to his bedroom. Seeing Barry fully dressed and looking chagrined did nothing to cheer him up. “You ran,” he snarled.

Barry nodded as he held out some clothes. “And if you can get dressed in thirty seconds I can have us in Aruba in time for happy hour and an apology blowjob.”

Len blinked a couple of times as he weighed their options. Running now would only anger their family and friends more. Staying would subject them to hours, days, of interrogation and accusations. Len grabbed his brief and pulled them on. “Pack us a bag,” he ordered.


End file.
